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Soul Friends

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

How to recognize them

“Soul friends” are among life’s greatest gifts, partly because soul friendships just aren’t as fraught with challenges as “soul mate” relationships can be.

True soul mates often have to overcome obstacles like family disapproval, substance abuse, early life traumas leading to emotional problems, existing marriages and even careless indifference on the part of one mate.

But soul friends always seem to appear magically just when you need them most. When no one understands or supports you, when you’re facing a challenge you don’t think you can handle alone, that’s when a soul friend will show up, just in time, with exactly what you need.

How can you recognize a soul friend?

Usually when you meet them, something inside of you smiles and says, “There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to appear!” That sense of delight and recognition happens for two reasons: first, because soul friends are almost always people you’ve known and cared about in many prior lifetimes, and second, because the two of you got together before you incarnated this time and decided when, where, how and why you’d meet, so you truly have been expecting them, and they you.

And soul friendships are always balanced. You’re there to help, motivate, support and unconditionally love each other equally, and, over time, you find you always receive as much as you give. Yeah, you’re both human, and occasionally there can be friction, but it rarely lasts.

Another giveaway that someone is a soul friend is that they understand something about you that no one else understands. You’ve been teased all your life for being too emotional? Your soul friend is either just as sensitive or sees your sensitivity as a gift that they admire and respect. Or you’re mystical and psychic, but from a family of pragmatists, and married to a pragmatist, and suddenly a soul friend who has even more far-out gifts than yours makes a special effort to meet and befriend you just when you’re about to go through major life changes.

There’s another kind of soul friend who isn’t as pleasant to acknowledge, although if you look back, you’ll probably remember having that same sense of recognition when you first encountered each other. This soul friend sees through your facades (i.e. also really understands you), and prods you to learn and grow by challenging your beliefs or pointing out where you’re achieving less than you can. This kind of soul friend pushes your buttons and sometimes makes you mad, but somehow you still admire and respect them. You even find yourselves motivated by the same kinds of goals, and discover you’re on the same page regarding what needs to be done so often it’s uncanny.

Soul friendships can begin in high school or grade school and continue throughout your life, or they can last just a few months or weeks before they’ve run their course. They can be in your age group, or much younger or older. Soul friends are sometimes lovers who help you recover from a divorce or abuse. Or you meet in a situation which requires exactly the skills and gifts that you have as a team, and you find yourselves working creative and/or organizational miracles, producing more work together than any ten individuals could do alone, and having an absolute blast while you’re doing it.

Soul friendships seem almost always to involve service, too, and often soul friends help each other clear karma by doing service projects together. You and your best friend from high school end up being the people everyone in your small town turns to for help and advice. Or perhaps a number of soul friends meet and are jointly inspired to create or expand an organization that serves a very timely need for hundreds or even thousands of people, helping others evolve or learn important new skills.

Soul friend relationships are life-affirming, positive and growth-oriented. They incorporate healing, expansion, inspiration and a sense of connection and bone-deep mutual understanding that is priceless. When you’re with a soul friend, your horizons expand, you realize that there’s more to you than you thought, and you suddenly discover you have more than enough energy, hope and motivation to meet any challenge life sends your way. And even when a soul friendship is short-lived, you’ll remember that friend with a smile for the rest of your life.

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